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Writer's pictureBernard Kates

What Do I Want?

Answering One of Life’s Hardest Questions

Have you ever found yourself sitting quietly, contemplating the age-old question, “What do I want?” It’s an apparently simple question, yet its answer can feel elusive and daunting. Many of us rush through life, caught up in the day-to-day hustle, only to find ourselves feeling unsatisfied or directionless. So, how do we unravel this complex question? Let’s explore this and see if we can find clarity in the chaos.



The Importance of Knowing What You Want


Understanding what you truly want is vital for a fulfilling life. Here’s why it matters:

  1. Direction and Purpose: Knowing what you want – or more accurately, what you need in order to live a fulfilling life - provides a clear direction. It helps you set goals and make decisions that align with your values and aspirations. When you have a destination in mind, it’s easier to navigate the journey.

  2. Motivation and Energy: When you’re passionate about what you want, it fuels your motivation. You wake up excited to pursue your goals, and that enthusiasm can transform your daily life. Conversely, uncertainty can drain your energy and leave you feeling stagnant and depressed.

  3. Enhanced Decision-Making: Clarity about your desires simplifies decision-making. When you know what you want, it’s easier to evaluate options and choose the path that aligns with your goals. This reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed by choices.

  4. Personal Fulfilment: Pursuing what you truly want leads to a deeper sense of fulfilment. It allows you to engage in activities that resonate with your values and passions, creating a life that feels authentic and rewarding.


Steps to Discovering What You Want


  1. Reflect on Your Values: Begin by identifying your core values. What principles are most important to you? Is it family, adventure, creativity, or financial security? Understanding your values acts as a compass, guiding you toward what you genuinely desire.

  2. Visualise Your Ideal Life: Take a moment to visualise your ideal life. What does it look like? What activities are you engaged in? Who are you surrounded by? Creating a mental picture can help clarify your desires and priorities.

  3. List Your Passions: Make a list of activities and interests that ignite your passion. What do you love doing? What hobbies bring you joy? Recognising what excites you can help you identify areas to pursue further.

  4. Consider Your Strengths: Reflect on your strengths and talents. What are you naturally good at? Understanding your strengths can inform your desires and lead you toward fulfilling pursuits that utilise your skills.

  5. Ask Yourself Questions: Engage in introspective questioning. Consider asking yourself: * If money were no object, what would I choose to do?

    What would I pursue if I knew I could not fail? What legacy do I want to leave behind? Reflecting on these questions can uncover hidden desires and aspirations.

  6. Experiment and Explore: Discovering what you want probably requires you to try new things. Be open to experimenting with different hobbies, careers, or social circles. Each experience offers valuable insights into what resonates with you, and just as importantly, what does not.

  7. Accept the Challenge: Remember that discovering what you want is an ongoing process. It’s okay if your desires change over time. Begin the journey and remain open to new possibilities and shifts in your aspirations as you proceed along the way.


You’ll find that working with a professional life coach or mentor will be an invaluable guide to figuring out what you really want. They have walked this path themselves and know how to tackle deep issues that may, at first glance, appear to be impenetrable.


Overcoming Barriers to Clarity


It’s common to face obstacles when trying to answer this question. Here are a few potential barriers and how to overcome them:

  • Fear of Other People’s Opinions (FOPO): You might worry about what others think. Remember, this journey is for you. Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your exploration.

  • Perfectionism: You may feel pressure to have a perfect answer right away. It’s okay to take your time. Allow yourself to explore without the need for immediate clarity. Remember, it’s okay to say “I don’t know,” as long as you follow that with, “but I’m going to find out.”

  • Comparison: Comparing yourself and your desires to others can cloud your judgment. Focus on your own unique path and what genuinely resonates with you, rather than what others are pursuing.


The Quest for Clarity


The question “What do I want?” is a deeply personal one, and the process of finding the answer can be as rewarding as the answer itself. By taking the time to reflect, explore and clarify your desires, you open the door to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.


Let me leave you with this thought-provoking question: What’s one step you can take today to begin uncovering what you truly want? Whether it’s journaling, trying a new activity, or simply taking a moment of quiet reflection, every small action counts on this beautiful journey of self-discovery.


Time to Take the Next Step


Growth starts with action. How will you take today’s lesson and make it personal? Leave a comment or reach out—your next step could make all the difference.

 

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